EMERGENCY! HELP ME!

Today it's just me and Skippy on the pod, as Ermentrude is at a meeting, and Anna is on holiday. God help me, but Skippy has just announced that it's 'so tricky to remember the difference between staples and paper clips'. Seriously, if that's the hardest issue in your life, you're just not trying hard enough...

TMI

Skippy has basically just announced (though not in so many words) that she's going for a poo, and could we tell the person who will be appearing any moment for a meeting with her that she won't be too long. Nice.

Who ate all the pies?

Skippy, why do you ALWAYS ask your husband 'Are you going to have a pasty?' when you're talking to him on the phone? What is it with pasties? I don't get it.

 

PS. I know you're pregnant and huge and LAZY, but when you're having a rambly personal call on your mobile, GET OUT OF THE OFFICE. WE DON'T NEED TO HEAR IT.

Vocabumalary nonsense

Skippy, since when did 'pleasure trip' replace the term 'holiday'?

Geographobia

Skippy, not having Geography GCSE is not an excuse for not knowing that Iceland is part of Scandinavia. It makes you sound so uninformed you could be a Republican Vice-Presidential candidate.

Is plastic lucky?

Dave, if you say 'touch wood' and then touch plastic (Not even plastic that looks like wood. Just plastic.), I don't think it works. Sorry...

Discretion is sometimes the better part of being a colleague

Skippy, when you hear that a co-worker's little brother has just been hospitalized, maybe don't tell her that the condition he is being tested for is exceedingly painful and it will take at least 6 months for him to recover. That may well be true, but you don't need to beat her over the head with it...

Skippy, pull your shirt back down

Just because you're pregnant doesn't mean that it's appropriate to show your belly in the workplace.

I am not a resource centre

Skippy and Ermentrude - while I think that it's lovely that you respect my superior knowledge and skills so much, but please, if there's something you don't know, why not try to find out for yourself before asking me? When the answer is going to on either Wikipedia or on a Windows Help Menu, why not use them, instead of me? Exactly how unhelpful do I have to be before you stop asking me STUPID QUESTIONS?!

Not really, no.

Skippy: You know when you're writing something, and you just think 'God, this is so...'

 

Unfortunately Skip, if you don't finish your sentences, I have no idea what you're talking about.

Party of the century

Skippy, I think it's great that you enjoyed your birthday (and that I got out of going to your party), but please could you now SHUT UP ABOUT IT. I am really busy, and I think you are too. Come on girl, it's business time not gossip time. GET ON WITH IT!